This was posted two years ago. Looking back made me feel good, as I realize that somehow things get better or that I am used to the lifestyle so I feel things are better than the way I looked at them before. I am working now and on the process of getting my driver's license (which is one of the things I really don't like doing but I have to want it because I need it- and that is another story). There are still lots of odds we are experiencing, but I have learned to somehow take things easy and learn to just do what I have to do. I have gained a lot of patience, and a lot of humility. There are things that I lost, but the process of losing those help me learn not to lose hope. Life is exciting, not easy, but fun. It's not just an adventure, but a journey too that we have to realize roads are as important as the destination.
BEING A BRIDE TO BE AND LIFE IN THE U.S.
OCTOBER 11, 2008
I have been here in the US for a month and two weeks now. Life has never been that easy as the realities of adjustment stage hit me all the time. Still, there are lots to be thankful for: a loving and patient Ron, the privilege of seeing parts of different states for free, the fun of traveling around, the amusement of being able to speak a different accent, the joy of meeting new people and the challenge of being able to adapt to a new culture and lifestyle. It’s not a bed of roses. But, little by little, I learn to accept that this is the share of sacrifice I am to go through in life. It is the joy and happiness of being with someone you love that makes me stand still and gather courage to face all these, and be able to surpass all the hardships. When he smiles, it is enough for me to ignore bitter realities of living in the U.S.
My first few weeks here were really a struggle. Living on a boat has been a big adjustment for me. I have to deal with limited space, walking a quarter mile to the shower room, controlling dizziness when boat moves, stepping into the dock and sleeping in a cabin. Sometimes, I got to wonder whether I am really in the U.S. I felt life is going backwards. I never get to experience the comfort of living in a house. And that is what I miss so much. I could hear people talking, but it seemed deafness hit me. They speak English, but I always get lost with the accent. I started getting bored for being idle.
For weeks, I have been clouded of homesickness and I became bitter and frustrated. I failed to see the beauty of having a new life here. Thank God, Ron has been very patient. His good heart has tamed me. U.S. is not a paradise- yes, you have more buying power here, but you really have to work hard to do that. Nothing here is cheap. House rentals are really high. Food is so expensive. It’s easy to get a car, but gasoline price will always hit you hard. If you need comfort, you gotta work for that. Unfortunately, in my case, I am still dependent to Ron till my adjustment of status here. And, it adds to my misery – not working and just being dependent to my partner.
When I want things, I always wanna get it soon. Now, life here has taught me to slow down. It has made me patient. It made me remember that things should undergo a process. If I wanna have comfort here, I gotta learn to drive, get a teaching certification, work hard, and be more understanding of what and how it is really to be in a relationship. It is not easy, but that is what I have to do.
In a week, I’ll be walking down the aisle towards marriage. Some would look at it as giving up one’s independence. At times, I feel the truth in it especially when cultural and personality differences hit us. But, this is the challenge I am to go through. I have chosen to love and spend my life with the one I love.
I remember a senior friend told me: Enjoy the happy moments, but when things don’t work the way you want it, be brave..be strong..just survive… This is my hope- the light I always look at when I feel my weakness is hitting me.
At the end of the day, whether things go well or bad, I will always find comfort in the arms of my partner, and our “togetherness” is all that matters….
